Honest Conversations

Your feelings, thoughts and thought processes and beliefs are not shameful. You can still be friends with someone you don't agree with. Rethink your friends group (and maybe the family you're around) if you feel like you can't be your true authentic self around them.

Now that, THAT's out of the way, let's begin.

One of the things I have appreciated over the years, is finding certain people in my life to have honest conversations with. People you can say anything to without fear of being judged. These are things you think about but would never say, to just anyone.

When I was younger, it was things like, I peed in my pants from laughing so hard at the age of 13. When I was in my 20s, it was things like, getting a tattoo and piercing that no one knew about... for YEARS. And now? It is things like, the way I feel about corporate life, mom and kid stuff, marriage, politics.

Let's first break down some things about some of the perceived repercussions one might think they would face by revealing their inner most thoughts; reputation, societal norms and social acceptance, annnnnnd... the dreaded, what will your family think? Look, these are real things for a lot of people and I'm not sure anyone would dispute that. People are judgy. Even you and me. Here's what I think, and it is NOT easy (and I said it above); if you feel you are being judged by someone close to you because of something you wear, do, say, believe, etc., then it is time to rethink who you're spending your time with. I didn't adopt this way of thinking until my 30s.

Reputation

I get it, this is important when you're in grade school and high school and as an adult in the workplace or elsewhere. However, I hope that parents of young kids today are exemplifying and teaching them that;

1. it is important to be yourself and be comfortable doing so

2. it is not important what people think of you, especially if they are being judgy

3. always treat anyone else, no matter friend or foe, how you would like to be treated

4. be kind, courteous and helpful

5. respect your elders

It is important to remind our kids (and adults for that matter lol) that good always wins in the end and they will be happiest being themselves and not hiding. People are drawn to this behaviour (young and old) and sometimes even envy, then mirror it.

As an adult in the workplace or elsewhere; well guess what? YOU have the power to change your situation if you find that you're suffering for being who you are or you find that you can't be authentic, truthful or express your opinions (or feel like you're not being heard). Again, I acknowledge that this isn't always easy and it even took me a bit to realize, then put this notion into practice. But, trust me, it is worth your mental health. Leave that organization, situation, person/friend etc. Just move on!

Societal Norms and Social Acceptance

Ugh, who says? In today's society, I think it is fair to say; "we've seen it all." I think, or at least I hope, the societal norm today (in most countries?) is that everyone is different and they are free to express that. Like with any of these sections, I also think it is fair to say that there will ALWAYS be someone in the crowd who doesn't like nor accept certain things they see or hear, and that is their prerogative. I feel like this shouldn't be a concern for anyone anymore. I know for some it is and there may even be concerns about personal safety (gawd forbid) but for the most part, I think societal norms have changed and still are.

If you ever feel unsafe, please seek help and assistance.

What will your family think?

Who cares? Your family should be there to help guide and support you. That is all. My hope for all of you is that you have family in your life that backs you up. I'll stop there.

Anyway, back to my point about Honest Conversations. Because of all the things I mention above, it is so important to look beyond whatever is stopping you or making you feel apprehensive to be authentic or speak your truth, and find someone in your life that you can do all these things with. If you're lucky enough, find a group of someones.

It is so freeing to be able to say that I choose to have one child and that's ok. It is so freeing to admit that I hated being pregnant and I didn't bond with my kid until she was like three. It feels good to be able to show my arm tattoo at work (I'm still working on this one lol). It feels good to have only kept a select few friends in my life that are worthy of my friendship.

Today, I walked down the sidewalk with my daughter dancing to the music on the street without a care in the world.

Find your person!