Date. Marriage. House. Kids.

Why is this blog named 'I Live in a House'? It is really tongue in cheek to be honest but, so are most things I say. This post might help you understand it a little more. Maybe.

Oh, societal norms and the parents (people) that perpetuate the age-old calendar-of-life and the-way-things-are-supposed-to-be, mentality.

I knew it, I'm not the only one thinking that there is an age you get married, renting is awful so you need to buy a house and, oh, don't forget, you need to have kids as soon as you get married. Not to mention, you have to be married to have kids. Well, maybe you're thinking something similar, and, let me tell you, there is more to life than all of that. I have no idea what it is but I can assure you, something's out there for all of us, and it doesn't come in this order; Date. Marriage. House. Kids, or at all for that matter. Ugh, I did them all! But, why?

Why do some feel that it is so important to do all these things and, in that order? I envy those who didn't fall into this pattern. I feel the need to say here; "...not that there's anything wrong with that." Let's move on and pretend none of you are offended. So, why IS it so important to some? Stability? Comfort? Security? Or, dare I say, Acceptance or Social Status? I can only speak for myself; I'm going to go with, I didn't know any better and confidence issues. I mean, I had a hard time standing up to my mother regarding wedding plans let alone where I was going to live after we got married. And, I always worry about what other people think and tend to try to please everyone else. But also, I wasn't raised with that type of open-minded support system; a system that embraces exploration and taking chances. I should also say here, I am not a risk-taker.

Although I have always been one to go in a different direction, I always put guard rails in place for myself. I also have core values that I rarely waver from but ponder often. These guard rails and core values, I believe, have guided my life's path thus far. But (there's always a 'but'), as I alluded to earlier, I have been wondering, 'what else there is to life' and have thought about all the 'what if' scenarios I can think of, since my mid-thirties. Where has that landed me? Nowhere, that's where. I've made lists of things I would like to accomplish and haven't done a single thing about them. Except this blog. Finally!

So what HAVE I done for me? I found someone to share my life with that shares my values and life outlook. I married him. We agreed we wanted to travel a little and be a little more job secure before we had kids. We did that. I wanted kids by the time I was 35. Well, I missed that by approximately 2 weeks. On the surface, we seemed to have accomplished everything on our list and in order. So, why does it always seem like something is missing? Would it have been so bad to have kids when we were younger? Not get married at all, and instead use that money for something else? Well, who cares? This is the path I chose and I love it. What I need to do is stop comparing my path to the path of others and start concentrating on those lists I wrote about earlier because the fact of the matter is that, it is only YOU who can answer all these questions AND it is only YOU who can make yourself happy, whatever that might be.

So, whether you get married, buy a house and have kids or something else, because of societal norms, confidence, pleasing everyone, core values... whatever it is, do what works for you. But, make sure you do it fearlessly, unapologetically and happily.

I'll end this post with a list of cliché meme-worthy thoughts.

Don't get stuck in a rut. Realize it, ponder it and get yourself out of it.

Life takes time, enjoy it.

Experience life, don't just live it.

Take meaningful moments to pause and reflect.

Think about what you want to leave this world with.

Just do you.

Cheers!