Being a Working Momma - My Story

Well, if you're like most in this day and age, we have to work to live. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do, was go on maternity leave. Here's my story.

I've always been a late bloomer; in love with the idea of school but when it came to discipline and procrastination, well, I could have taught a class on that. I also had it in my head that I needed to achieve a certain status in life before I could afford to do anything, like buying a house and starting a family. Plus, I wanted more to life than marriage, children etc. It's hard to imagine 'doing everything' when we have a finite amount of time on this planet, and an even shorter window to create life. Don't even get me started on trying to do all this while being successful and looking good while doing it or trying to fit the image that I feel people respect. I know, there's a lot to unpack there, so why did I mention all that? I guess it sets the stage for this story.

I got married when I was 28 and still not making a lot of money; I was working hard for a job that wasn't respected (even now) and working so much overtime to ensure other people's experiences were great. I received some recognition which was nice. I earned my yearly raises and bonus but it just wasn't cutting it (the money I mean). It was fine though because I had already planned when I wanted to try for kids, and I had a little more time. You see, in my head, I couldn't have a child living in an apartment and I didn't make nearly enough money to even consider it at that time anyway.

Where, oh where did I get THAT stuck in my head? (if you read my other blog posts, you'll understand my sarcasm here)

Anyway, the time had come. I planned (by the way, I plan everything) to have a baby by the time I was 35. I did pretty well, she came along 2 weeks after my 36th birthday. I was working for a new company and had just received a promotion and we had bought a house a couple years before. Mom boxes ticked. When it was time for maternity leave, I was so ready. I had already started my, 'getting older life crisis' (if you read my other blogs you know what I'm talking about), so I was ready to leave work for a while and not worry about that type of pressure. You know the ones; make money, be respected blah blah blah. In short, I was ready to start a new chapter of my life, but at the same time, I wasn't ready to let go of the little progress I had made with my career.

Ok, wait, I think I know what some of you are thinking; by this time it was 2016 and your career will just pick back up when you come back, right? Right? uuuuuummmm... NOPEROONEY. Not for someone who isn't an executive. It turns out, I am easily replaced. Ok, this sounds completely negative and, maybe it was just my circumstance; also, 'noperooney' wasn't quite all true. A lot of good things happened when I came back, but it wasn't easy, AT ALL. And, companies need to do more for people coming back from maternity, paternity and parental leave. But, I digress. Here is a run down of what I had to look forward to when I returned;

1. new office/new commute

2. new team

3. new team name

4. new team growth (without me)

5. new expectations

6. new people (in new office)

7. new culture

So, not only did I have to come back to a job that I was still learning, but I had to come back to new people who were not only better than me at that job but were treated differently and had already been immersed in the new office. Not to mention, I had a 1 year old who had just started day care. WHO do you think they called when she was sick? Yup, MOI! So, let's add to the above insecurities that I was feeling at work, the feeling of guilt having to leave half way through the day to go and pick up my daughter, never mind the 'mom guilt' of leaving her at day care to begin with. Miracle or Shit Show? Yah.

None of this did anything for my self-esteem, confidence or motivation. And, I had zero help at work (cue the comment above about organizations taking better care of their returning parents).

So, where am I now? Well, the plans I did have, fell through due to the pandemic that started in March 2020 (in case you live under a rock or you're reading this from the future lol), but things still turned out, ok. I am working from home now and my daughter is in SK at her big girl school. We don't require before and after school care which ticks all my mom boxes. I am still working and learning and things are getting easier as my daughter gets older. I still feel as though my time is consumed with work and that I am not giving her all that I can, but that's a me problem (currently and consistently working on this issue). I am finally with a company that cares about their employees' work/life balance and that makes me breathe easier as a working momma.

I'll tell ya, you need support to get through, that's for sure.

What are your work/parenting experiences? Comment below.

Ciao for now!