Has anyone else gained more confidence as they've aged?

Ok, we all have our hang-ups and quirks, but there's something to be said for just being able to be yourself and not minding what others think, right? Now, there's a fine line between not giving a shit and just being comfortable in your own skin; I'm somewhere in between. I see it in myself at the beach and in the office (metaphorically speaking since I work at home now). If you've read my blog post called '40', you will have had an introduction to my thought process around searching for the meaning of my life and wondering, 'what else is out there?' This topic ties into that quite nicely.

So what does this mean for me? Let's start with corporate life. It means that I have learned through experience what I like and dislike about it. I means that I stand up for what is right and what is wrong based on my knowledge and experience. That means, I don't just DO things because someone has told me to and I don't just DO things because 'that is the way it has always been done'. It also means I don't 'look up' to people because they are executives or higher on the food chain then I am; you have to earn my respect and I'll tell you, that is extremely hard to do. I have always been that way but it took 20 years of navigating corporate life to learn how to express myself respectfully (insert eyeroll emoji here; I'll address this in an up-coming blog post about corporate life), get my point across, be listened to and HEARD. I'm not always successful (keep in mind, there's a difference here between an executive not listening because they know they don't have to and a group/person going in a different direction for other reasons), but the idea is that I say my peace or do my thing because I am confident enough to express my feelings over something I find important enough to do so. Listen to your gut (maybe another blog post idea).

So that leaves us with confidence at the beach, or anywhere else for that matter. Yup, you guessed it, being comfortable in your own skin and confident in how you look. Growing up is hard enough without comparing yourself to your friends daily.

But, we all do it and that's natural. The trick is to not let it get to you and to learn how to love yourself and how you look. Own it! That's it. It's that easy... I'm kidding, this is so so hard and takes positive influences in your life and years of being set on the right path to develop.

So, I was at at theme park this past weekend and was standing in line for a waterslide when I noticed I was standing behind a group of young men kidding around and having a great time. They were relatively well behaved and just acting like a bunch of teenagers. It reminded me of my days as a teenager and visiting this particular theme park, goofing around with my friends and running from ride to ride. One thing I noticed loud a clear about this group was the fact that there was one friend who was left out. The other boys included him in the goofballery once in a while but this particular boy was mostly quiet, standing behind them and laughing at their jokes and shenanigans but very obviously left out. He was a little overweight and you could tell he was self-conscious about it as I observed him touching his stomach every once in a while and looking down at it. He was also shorter then these other boys who were tall and slender. I empathized with him. I wanted to tell him so much that it didn't matter how he looked, it only mattered how his friends felt about him. I wanted to tell him that he may have been sabotaging his friendships with these boys because of his lack of confidence and I wanted to tell him that if he felt they weren't including him because of how he looked than he needed new friends. I wish someone had told me that when I was their age.

Meanwhile, I'm standing there, 30 lbs overweight with my 5 year old daughter, who worships the ground I walk on, staring at other people who are all shapes and sizes having a gay old time. And you know what? So was I. I had a blast that day and thoroughly enjoyed myself, walking around a waterpark in my bathing suit. You got a problem with me? That's a 'YOU' problem.

Cheers!

P.S. That was an epic way to end this post but I have to say too that if you truly don't like the way you look or require more confidence in expressing yourself or challenging the status quo, grow. Work on yourself. You only have to try one day and keep at it. Just start!